17 October 2011

| day thirteen to day seventeen | And where have you been young laydee?



I have been absent for a few days. Lots of busy days of meetings, teleconferences and visiting others.

Over the weekend, I had the most wonderful time catching up with some amazing women. It was a day of nurturing our women spirit and connecting with others. It was fantastic. It ended with a Closing Circle where we passed yarn around and tied it to our wrist. It made for a beautiful web where we were all connected. Our journeys, our love, our sadness, our joy. It was all there and we are all shared it.




Years ago, before the advancement of technology and social networking, people would come together and meet. They would have circles where they sat around and had a chat. Cried. Laughed. Felt supported.

We, as a community, have really lost the art of reaching out. Example of this is when women have babies. People come to visit and what do they want to do? They want to cuddle the baby.

WRONG! What they should be doing is the dishes, hanging out the washing. Bring around a warm meal. Things that mean that the mother can spend the time bonding with her child and she doesn't have to worry about making her visitors cups of tea while they fawn all over her baby.

We have lost the village mentality. Where we, as a group, helps others and that we know that when we need help, it will be there in return. When we were moving house, not one person offered to help. Lots of "yeah it sucks to move, lucky its you and not me". Not one comment of "Do you need a hand? Can I help? Do you want us to mind the children for you?" None. It was just pregnant me and Husband doing it all.

When I birthed Imp, I had my mother in law nagging to come and visit because she wanted to see the baby. Husband made it perfectly clear that no one was seeing Imp for at least a couple of weeks as we wanted time with our baby first. She pushed and pushed until she got to come over and drop off a present; then proceeded to get her partner to nag and harass us to see Imp. It ended with a yelling match in the front yard, him threatening Husband that he would shoot him and them being excommunicated out of lives. Imp was not even 24 hours old.

Then the village called out to us from unexpected source and offered us a warm meal. I was overcome with joy and amazement at this. But then nothing came. The messenger had sent back to the Village that I had rejected such an offer. I only found this out last month that she had said this 20 months ago. Such sadness and anger filled me up.

Being a member of a village requires commitment to follow through. To walk the walk and not just talk the talk. There are women out there who are just desperate for the strength of other women. To built the circle. We need to stop navel gazing and act. Get involved. Reach out to others.

What have you done to build your circle?



This gorgeous artwork was created by Molly Roberts at herspeak

1 comment:

  1. So so true!
    Sorry to hear you didn't get the help you were offered because someone decided to lie about it :(

    ReplyDelete

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